I don’t know why I feel the need to play matchmaker. I always have. I like to find pieces for the missing space in someone else’s life in the same way others like to put puzzles together. Maybe I just have a sense of justice that we should all be suffering equally.
Even though matchmaking is a gift, it isn’t always appreciated by others. When two people meet at my suggestion and marry because they didn’t have anything better to do, they think of me every time they fight. I can feel the heat off of four counties simultaneously sometimes. I’ve even gotten text messages to confirm my suspicions. Then sometimes later that year I will see a cute little baby with features of the puzzle pieces I had put together and I think, “oh ... maybe that wasn’t such a bad match after all.”
Of course, they never call me when things are going well – when she has made his favorite pie or he brought home roses for no reason. I never get a text message then. I like to think those things do happen on occasion, but I have never received confirmation of the fact.
I do this for free – this matchmaking. I take time out of a busy life just to interfere in other’s lives. People just don’t realize how much time this takes! What communication skills! What odds-making risks! What guts and fortitude! I guess when you have been called to something important, you are not supposed to expect gratitude. You are to just do your job.
And do my job, I do. A nice young man who has stopped to ask for directions, may just find himself lined up with the girl who is a cashier at the grocery store. Sure, he might have been looking for the gas station, but sometimes fate has other plans for us. That nice new teacher in town? She seems to be of the stability, frugality and self-entertaining quality that a dedicated young handsome farmer might appreciate. Sometimes that shrinking violet at the library is just what the used car salesman needed. It’s a mystery how this all works sometimes.
Revelations of matches just comes to me like a bolt of lightning sometimes. I see one person’s face in my mind’s eye and a possible match just slides in beside that person in my brain and the rest is history. (Everyone who is truly good at something makes it look easy, they say.)
Sure, sometimes this match-making business is a little tricky. Sometimes single people think they are fine all by themselves. Sometimes they don’t want their playing field narrowed down at all or maybe work is their life. It takes some determination on my part to tear all that apart and bring them to the person they were meant to suffer through life with. I know, people think that farmers, firemen, policemen, first responders, teachers, medical personnel, military, and the UPS deliverymen are the only heroes in the world, but matchmakers are too. We are so underappreciated.
For a while, I thought I could go into matchmaking retirement. Of course, there would be no residual benefits like pension plans, but maybe I would still get some wedding invitations and birth announcements. I was even looking forward to not being on high alert all the time for possible loneliness and attitudes of defeat in the romance department. After all, now there was online dating and matchmaking and all kinds of electronic resources to help people meet other people. But after a lot of married men and some serial killers started using the sites, the initial excitement over online dating waned and I was back in business again.
Sometimes people want to know the secrets of my success as a matchmaker. (Well, no one has really asked me, but I’m sure there is curiosity.) The thing is, there can be no sense of desperation on either party’s part and there can’t be unreasonable expectations. Just because a guy’s momma has told him he is the most handsome man in the world and he needs a woman to take care of him, doesn’t make him a candidate for a match with Miss USA. Just because a girl is daddy’s little princess and deserves everything her little heart desires doesn’t necessarily make her a good life partner.
No, matchmaking is an organic, almost mystic experience. Nuances of personality, unspoken needs, observation of behaviors and situations are what clinch the deals.
I’ve had 100 percent success rate in the matchmaking that I’ve completed. There is not a divorce among any of them ... yet.
Perhaps they are all afraid that they might have to go through the entire painful process with me again if that happens.